Confidence - the opposite of fear of judgement

Small Steps to Build Lasting Confidence Every Day

Let’s talk about confidence, shall we? That tricky little thing we all wish we had more of, but often find ourselves struggling to grasp—like trying to catch a bar of soap in the bath. Some days, you feel on top of the world, strutting through life like you own it. Other days? You’re convinced everyone is secretly judging your every move, and you’d rather melt into the floor than risk standing out. Sound familiar? Yeah, I used to feel the exact same way!.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned—confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about letting go of the fear of judgment. Because at the root of most of our self-doubt is that nagging voice whispering, “What will they think?”

And let’s be honest, they—whoever they are—are usually too busy worrying about themselves to even notice what we’re doing. The more we stop living for other people’s opinions, the more we step into our own power. So, if you’re tired of holding yourself back because of the fear of judgment, I’ve got you covered. Let’s dive into some simple, everyday steps to start building real, lasting confidence—no pep talks in the mirror required (that's a different blog for a different day).

1. Remember: Nobody’s Watching as Closely as You Think

First things first—let’s bust the biggest confidence-killer of them all: the idea that people are constantly judging you. Truth bomb? Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to focus on yours.

Sure, you might think that everyone in the room noticed when you stumbled over your words or wore that slightly-too-bold outfit, but chances are, they didn’t. And even if they did? They’ve already moved on to worrying about themselves.

So next time you catch yourself spiraling with “What if they think I’m stupid/awkward/not good enough?”—remind yourself that they’re probably too distracted thinking the same thing about themselves.

In addition to this, those that are watching you waiting for you to trip up are the people who are most unhappy and most insecure in their own lives. What they say about you is actually about how they feel about themselves!

2. Do It Anyway (Even If It’s Scary)

Confidence isn’t something you wait to feel before you take action. It’s the opposite—you build it by taking action despite feeling afraid of being judged.

Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying something new, or finally wearing that outfit you love but always second-guess, confidence grows when you prove to yourself that other people’s opinions don’t have the power to hold you back.

Sure, the fear might still be there. But the more you do things that scare you, the less scary they become. And eventually? You realise you never needed anyone’s approval in the first place.

3. Let Go of Perfectionism

Ever held yourself back from doing something because you were afraid it wouldn’t be perfect? Yep, me too. But here’s the harsh truth—perfection is just another way of avoiding judgment.

We convince ourselves that if we can just get it right, then nobody will criticise us. But in reality, waiting for perfection only keeps us stuck. Confidence comes when we embrace the messy, imperfect, real versions of ourselves and show up anyway.

So go ahead—try the thing, say the words, take the leap. Progress over perfection.

4. Tune Out the Noise (Literally)

We live in a world where opinions are everywhere—social media, family, friends, that random person in the queue at the shop who felt the need to comment on your choice of crisps. It’s exhausting.

If you’re constantly surrounded by other people’s voices, it’s no wonder your confidence takes a hit. Start being intentional about who you listen to. Not everyone’s opinion deserves a front-row seat in your life.

Unfollow the accounts that make you feel like you’re not enough. Set boundaries with people who drain your energy. And most importantly—learn to trust your own voice more than the noise around you.

5. Embrace the Awkwardness

Confidence isn’t about avoiding awkward moments; it’s about learning to handle them with grace (or at least a good sense of humour). Whether it’s saying the wrong thing, tripping over your own feet, or laughing too loud at your own jokes—awkwardness is just part of being human.

Instead of cringing for the next decade, try owning it. Laugh it off, move on, and remind yourself that awkward moments don’t define you. In fact, they make you relatable. Nobody wants to be around someone who’s perfect anyway (because, newsflash, they don’t exist).

6. Surround Yourself with the Right People

Confidence thrives in the right environment. If you’re constantly surrounded by people who criticise, judge, or make you doubt yourself, it’s no wonder you struggle to feel confident.

Seek out the people who lift you up, who remind you of your strengths, and who celebrate your wins—big or small. The right people won’t make you feel like you have to prove yourself; they’ll make you feel like you already are enough.

And if you can’t find those people? Be that person for yourself.

7. Stop Saying Sorry for Existing

How many times a day do you apologise for things that don’t even require an apology? Saying sorry for taking up space, having an opinion, or simply being yourself?

Confidence means owning who you are—without constantly apologising for it. Try replacing unnecessary apologies with more empowering phrases, like:

• Instead of “Sorry for rambling,” say “Thanks for listening.”

• Instead of “Sorry for taking up your time,” say “I appreciate your time.”

• Instead of “Sorry for being a mess,” say “I’m figuring things out.”

You’re allowed to take up space, to have needs, and to exist unapologetically.

8. Focus on What You Think

At the end of the day, confidence isn’t about what other people think of you—it’s about what you think of yourself. So, start asking yourself:

• Do I like the way I’m showing up?

• Am I proud of how I’m handling things?

• Do I feel aligned with my values?

When you shift the focus from external validation to internal validation, you’ll find that confidence comes naturally.

9. Celebrate Your Wins (Even the Tiny Ones)

Confidence isn’t built overnight; it’s built through small, consistent wins. So, start celebrating the little things. Whether it’s speaking up when you normally wouldn’t, trying something new, or simply getting through a tough day—those moments count.

Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small, and give yourself credit where it’s due.

Final Thoughts: Confidence is an Inside Job

Here’s the truth—confidence doesn’t come from impressing others, fitting in, or waiting for the perfect moment. It comes from within, from owning who you are, and from letting go of the fear of what others might think.

So, take those small steps every day, and remember: You don’t need permission to be yourself. The more you show up unapologetically, the more your confidence will grow—and before you know it, you’ll realise you were capable all along.

And if all else fails, just fake it till you feel it. Confidence is a mindset, and you’ve got everything you need to step into it.

Got any confidence-boosting tips of your own? Let’s keep the conversation going—drop a comment and share your thoughts!

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